‘Me Time’ for Mother’s Day Isn’t Selfish

Mother’s Day is nearly here. I know the question is coming: “What do you want for Mother’s Day?” Honestly, I don’t want much. I know I want some special time with my people. Maybe go out to brunch or do a little shopping. I also plan to ask for a little ‘Me Time’ for Mother’s Day.

How My “Me Time’ for Mother’s Day Tradition Started

My first few years of motherhood, my husband would ask what I wanted, and the question stumped me.  I didn’t want for much, so I would maybe ask for clothes or shoes. One year I got some beautiful, amazingly unique lockets. I traveled for my job at the time, so I loved being able to wear these lockets and pop them open at any given moment to see pics of my beautiful baby girl.

Typically, the three of us would go out to eat for dinner or brunch. That was always great, too, because I love spending time with my peeps. But a few years ago, my husband sprung something new on me. He booked a hotel room. Just for me. His idea.

I was a little floored. It seemed weird to me. I mean, wasn’t the point of Mother’s Day to spend time with the people who made you a mom in the first place? I had a hard time getting used to the idea and I wasn’t sure why. In fact, I resisted. But my husband insisted.

I Realized that ‘Me Time’ Felt Uncomfortable

Even though I initially pushed back on the idea, by the Saturday afternoon before Mother’s Day I had come around to the idea. So off I went, albeit reluctantly, to a nearby hotel where he had booked the Mother’s Day Suite.

On the drive over, I felt very unsettled but wasn’t sure why. It wasn’t until I was almost to the hotel when I realized why I was bothered so much:

I didn’t know what to do with this amount of time by myself.

Then, it hit me that I couldn’t remember the last time I had this much time all alone.

I literally panicked at the idea of a such a large chunk of time with nothing planned and no one to fill it. And then, I became angry. Because why in the world would I be uncomfortable with ‘Me Time?’

What had become of the strong, independent woman I used to be? I thought back to a post I had written earlier in the year, in which I talk about losing a part of myself since marriage and parenthood. Suddenly, my perspective on this hotel stay shifted.

‘Me Time’ is Necessary

Look, we all need time alone. We need time to unwind and recharge. It’s not even always about the self-care aspect, either. It’s also just about being who we are and doing things we like to do on our own. What kinds of things did you do before becoming a mom? How did you spend your free time? Where did you go when you had a free afternoon?

Whatever you did and however you spent your time, it wasn’t considered selfish then. It shouldn’t be considered selfish now. Those are the things that make you who you are and becoming a partner and/or a parent shouldn’t change who you are at your core.

Plus, taking time for yourself is beneficial for your happiness and mental health. In turn, a happy and mentally healthy parent can benefit children.

‘Me Time’ Ideas

So, what can you do for your alone time? Maybe it’s not feasible to run away to a hotel. There are other options if you get creative. Ask your spouse/partner/family member or friend to watch the kiddos while you:

  • Get a massage or facial at a local spa.
  • Brunch/dinner/movie with a friend. (Or by yourself!)
  • A few hours alone at a bookstore or coffee shop.
  • Take a nap.
  • Catch up on Netflix.
  • Go for a walk.

The point is, if you are one of those moms (like me,) who always felt guilty for alone time, then stop it! Stop it right now.

Being a mom is one of the hardest jobs and one of the best jobs. But like any job, sometimes you just need a few days, a few hours, or even a few minutes away from the job.  In any job, you need some time to Breathe and Reboot. You are worthy of rest and rejuvenation.  It’s normal and necessary for balance and health. And you need it! Don’t let anyone (including yourself) tell you otherwise. Now go get your ‘Me Time’ and Happy Mother’s Day!

PS – In honor of Mother’s Day, here’s a video that makes me laugh and cry every time.

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